I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
