He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize