Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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