Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
