I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize