wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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