Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
