dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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