Whod you bang
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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