Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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