I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it's like iHOP with fire
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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