i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
