I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize