were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
