Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
