you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
