that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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