we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
