So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How naked do you want me to be?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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