Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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