I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
