Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize