i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
