Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
