Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
