I just made out with a guy for $7.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
