I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish you could order shots online.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
