So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
