You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
