im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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