I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
