the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
