this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
