Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
