I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
