Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i have two assholes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
