Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
