dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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