i think my tv is drunk
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
