Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
