do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
