How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
