I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
