just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
