I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
