She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
