i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
tell me about the eggs
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
