I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
