"it" just moved
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
