i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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