How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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