It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
