walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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