You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize