Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
