Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
