And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
