you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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