i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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